Joan Taylor knows what Jesus looks like: he is basically Bret from Flight of the Conchords

Professor Joan Taylor has written a book about what Jesus looks like.

In What Did Jesus Look Like? (T&T Clark, February 2018), Joan Taylor imagines what Jesus would have looked like “as an average man”, reconstructed from the most up-to-date scientific knowledge concerning average first-century-AD Jewish men.

According to Taylor, this is what Jesus would have looked like, “if he was average”:

Jesus, as drawn by Joan Taylor, from What Did Jesus Look Like? (T&T Clark, 2018)
Jesus, as drawn by Joan Taylor, from What Did Jesus Look Like? (T&T Clark, 2018), p. 192 (Figure 76)

So basically, Jesus is Bret from Flight of the Conchords:

Overall, then, we can arrive at a general image of Jesus as an average man: he was probably around 166 cm (5 feet 5 inches) tall, somewhat slim and reasonably muscular, with olive-brown skin, dark brown to black hair, and brown eyes. He was likely bearded (but not heavily, or with a long beard), with shortish hair (probably not well kept) and aged about 30 years old at the start of his mission.

I note that Bret is a New Zealander. So this fact allows us to reach a further significant scientific conclusion: Kiwi men are the most Jesus-like men in the world.

Go in peace.

[Update: See Joan Taylor’s short article in the Irish Times, “What did Jesus really look like, as a Jew in 1st-century Judaea?“, 27 February 2018]


Writings by Ancient Rephaim Found! The Lost Book of King Og

King Og of Bashan depicted against ordinary Israelite
King Og of Bashan depicted against ordinary Israelite

It has been long rumoured that a work by King Og, the last of the Rephaim/Giants, was hidden in the Secret Vatican Library in the Department of Ancient Documents and Surviving Occult Findings

In the past few days, the existence of the Lost Book of King Og the Giant (dated ca. 1400 BCE) has been confirmed by the murkier recesses of the internet. A new website, The Lost Book of King Og has made available an English translation of the largely extant Chapter 7 of this ancient seven-chapter work.

The contents are fascinating. Chapter 7 begins with taunts from King Og to Israel, in which the former appears to compare Israel to ants buried in fecal matter. There are also tantalizing references to “my brethren” which seem to refer to the antediluvian Nephilim (Gen 6:4).

Are the tales of my [exploits] not [traveling] to you O [fecal worm?] of Israel? Of my power [. . .] renowned fields of my [Pre-Adamic/Pre-Watcher][Nephilim] brethren? [. . .murder. . .] How we turned our wrath [. . .mercy. . .a foreigner. . .] the old world stood.

In another section of the chapter, King Og declares that his age is 800 years – confirming the great age attributed to Giants in other ancient texts. This puts his birth a little after the Flood, according the Bible’s internal chronology (which suggests the “translator” may have miscalculated a little).

It is a truly incredible find. Read the published translation of Chapter 7 of The Lost Book of King Og here.

The publication of The Lost Book of King Og provides further evidence of the existence of giants at the time of the conquest. It may be compared to the letter sent by the Confederation of Giants to Joshua, found in Book 27 of the Samaritan Book of Joshua, the original of which may well date as early as the invasion of the land of Canaan in ca. 1456 BCE.

The translator of The Lost Book of King Og, Demmon, is also the author of an online serialized werewolf story, The Gonteekwaa much longer work of fiction.



How Tall is Miranda Hart compared to Goliath?

Is Miranda Hart taller than Goliath?

Goliath versus Miranda Hart

No. The comedienne, and star of Miranda and Call the Midwife is 6’1″ (185cm), some 7 inches (18cm) shorter than Goliath.

Note: In the various manuscripts of 1 Samuel 17, Goliath’s height ranges from 4½ cubits (6’8″ or 202cm) to 6½ cubits (9’7″ or 293cm). However, the earliest manuscripts have Goliath’s height at 4½ cubits, and this was at a time when the height of your average “Israelite” would have been 3½ cubits (5’3″ or 162cm). Therefore, the manuscripts which put Goliath’s height at 6½ cubits probably reflect a later exaggeration. The “cubit” was not an exact measure, but referred to the length of the forearm – from the elbow to the tip of the finger. But we have assumed for the purposes of making this comparison that one cubit = 45cm (just under 18″).