2016 SBL Bag Revealed: Doubles as a Bullet-Proof Vest!

A press release from the Society of Biblical Literature has revealed that the 2016 conference bag will double as a bullet-proof vest. “Safety for our members is our primary concern at the 2016 SBL/AAR conference,” stated the March 22 SBL press release.

The 2016 SBL bag / body armor
The 2016 SBL bag / body armor

“Although we are doing all in our power to limit the risk of shooting incidents at our annual biblical studies conference, we are very pleased with the design of the 2016 tote-bag. It folds out in less than 2 seconds into a vest which is resistant to an 8.0 g (124 gr) 9 mm caliber round-nosed full-metal jacket bullet travelling at up to 358 m/s (1175 ft/s).”

The design of the jacket met with approval from Baylor PhD student Chad Newhart, who is completing a dissertation on the use of the OT in the New. “The bag is way cooler than in past years. And I feel a lot safer knowing that it will protect me from any lone wolf attacks.”

“And with the different nationalities over in AAR,” added Mr Newhart, “We need to be on guard against possible extremists.”

The SBL bag/bullet-proof vest will be available from November 19, 2016.

Related News:

The BNTS Statement on Firearms At the Annual Meeting in Chester

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6 thoughts on “2016 SBL Bag Revealed: Doubles as a Bullet-Proof Vest!

  1. Who is this parody directed against? ““And with the different nationalities over in AAR,” added Mr Newhart, “We need to be on guard against possible extremists.” looks like a parody of Trump, but also of other nativists. Parodies are sometimes meant to be sickening, not funny. But Trump may be beneath parody.

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  2. Only four comments, and someone what brought up Donald Trump. It’s time for the Donald Trump corollary to Godwin’s Law: “”As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.”

    Frankly, we should keep an eye on those Gnostic State extremists.

    Like

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