Misquoting Jesus – Fishes or Penises?

The Gospel of Mark 6:38-44 relates the account of Jesus’s multiplication of the loaves and fish:

And he said to them, “How many loaves have you? Go and see.”

When they had found out, they said, “Five, and two fish.”

Then he ordered them to get all the people to sit down in groups on the green grass. So they sat down in groups of hundreds and of fifties. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to his disciples to set before the people; and he divided the two fish among them all. And all ate and were filled; and they took up twelve baskets full of broken pieces and of the fish. Those who had eaten the loaves numbered five thousand men.

Recently the President of Venezuela, Según Maduro, pushed for schools to multiply, “just like Christ multiplied the fishes”, but accidentally said “just like Christ multiplied the penises”. That’s easier to do in Spanish than in English, though:

In commenting on plans to expand and improve access to education, Maduro made allusion to the Biblical miracle of the seven loaves and fish, but misspoke: instead of the Spanish word for fishes (“peces“), the Venezuelan president said “penes“, meaning “penises“.

Dressed in an Adidas track suit in the bright red, blue and yellow colors of the Venezuelan flag, Maduro told the audience, “We need to go in school by school, student by student, high school by high school, community by community, get in there, multiply ourselves, just like Christ multiplied the penises – “, realizing his mistake, he paused to correct himself, ” – pardon me, the fishes and the loaves. Pardon the expression. Just like Christ multiplied the loaves and the fish.”

– “Nicolas Maduro Verbal Gaffe: Venezuelan President Pushes For Schools To Multiply ‘Just Like Christ Multiplied The Penises’”, Latin Times, 28 August 2013

But the misquoting of Jesus continues, this week. Here’s how the Gospel of Luke 14:12-14 quotes Jesus: “When you give a luncheon or a dinner, do not invite your friends or your brothers or your relatives or rich neighbors, in case they may invite you in return, and you would be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you, for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” But this week some members of the Republican Party in the U.S. accidentally misquoted Jesus’s words, here, as “Fuck the poor”.

Whoops!

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