Jesus Fails to return to New Zealand, but Santa Exists!

According to Harold Camping, the end of the world was to arrive with an absolutely massive earthquake at 6pm, May 21, 2011. That time has now passed, and Jesus has again failed to make good on his promise to return to Earth.

But the good news is that Santa really exists! The International Business Times has the scoop:

May 21 Doomsday soothsayer Harold Camping’s prediction has bombed, expectedly so. New Zealand’s Christmas Island was not hit by any earthquake even after the appointed time of the apocalypse passed the region.
“Harold Camping’s 21st May Doomsday prediction fails; No earthquake in New Zealand”, International Business Times, May 21, 2011 2:46 AM EDT

Christmas Island is real! I never doubted you, Santa!

N.b. Christmas Island is not part of New Zealand. It is not even called Christmas Island anymore, if what is meant is Kiritimati, an island of the Republic of Kiribati which is in the first time-zone in the world. It is, however, in real danger of apocalypse – that is, it will soon be under water due to global warming, which is caused by real humans rather than imaginary ancient Semitic deities. But we wouldn’t want to interrupt this news story about an insane loon with the reality that most of the world insanely continues to increase the consumption of goods and services in a manner which guarantees a human-made destruction, would we? Surely it can’t be insane to think that economic growth is the solution to our problems when everybody says it, can it?


5 thoughts on “Jesus Fails to return to New Zealand, but Santa Exists!

  1. this Camping guy is realy giving christianity a bad name. People should start reading their bibles and stop entertaining all these negetive things said about Jesus and God. No man knows when Christ will return. All i know is that God is alive and God is greater than any thing in this world. Although many redicule his name one day he will show him self to everyone who believed and those who didnt. God bless you all


    • ‘And he said to them, “Truly I tell you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see that the kingdom of God has come with power.”‘ – Mark 9.1. According to the Bible, Christ will return within the lives of some of those who heard his message in AD 30. Mr Camping, with his numerological calculations, is just as subject to confirmation bias (or ‘cognitive dissonance’) as any other Bible-believing Christian.


  2. Why has Jesus failed his promise? Prophets from time to time say he is going to return and come up with quotes in the bible yet there is not a shred of evidence to be found.

    It sucks we are all going to lose our freedom and destroy each other with lawsuits and political correctness.. :(

    World War 3is happening right now and it’s a political/Cyber war.


    • Kyle,

      Best comment of the month. Yes, Jesus was full of shit. As for your comments on losing freedom, lawsuits, political correctness, and a political/Cyber war, I can only guess at what you have in mind, but I won’t.



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