The Quickest Way of Learning the Bible is by Smoking It

Rastafarian exegesis
Rastafarian exegesis

In today’s Botswana Gazette column, ‘Erotic Consultants’, Olopeng Rabasimane laments his friend’s “non-conformist” method of studying the Bible:

My other friend whose name here I will keep anonymous for the sake of our ailing friendship has a rather peculiar way of looking at things. If I were to say he is a non-conformist, I would be seriously understating his character, I think he is a true misfit to say the least. Just last week I found him rolling and puffing Rastafarians ‘holy herb’ using Bible pages. When I quizzed him over the act he told me in a matter-of-fact tone that it was the quickest way to learn the word of God; by smoking it.

But before we are too quick to judge, have a look at just one of the inspired results of this Rastafarian ‘reading’:

he thinks that it is Goliath who killed Jesus

Olopeng Rabasimane strongly disapproves of these marijuana-induced insights into the Word of God. However, given the longstanding Christian typological interpretation of David versus Goliath as a battle between Jesus and Satan, maybe Olopeng just needs to open his mind up to the possibilities offered by the tetrahydrocannabinol lens of interpretation? Dude.

But this causes me to ask a question about the recent popularity of the so-called “theological interpretation of Scripture”. Could it be that all these apparently conservative theological types are in fact just high on weed? Their writings surely betray their little secret.

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